Fail

I'm getting a little ambitious toward the end of the school year. We have 6 weeks left, and I feel that the elves have just learned so much, especially in English, that we can do so many more exciting projects! We prepared by doing create your own constellation and planet essays to prep for the vocabulary they would need. So, currently we are tackling, a Greek Myth/constellation report, a fiction book review using a book of their choice, and a Magic School Bus solar system play... Oh, and don't forget about fractions!! Go go super 2nd grade power!

Right now, the elves are definitely working on the hardest projects from the entire year, and they're doing it all at once. With that, comes a lot of success. And I love to report the success! But I also have to report the fails ....

Create your own constellation:
"... It's shaped like a queen. It's the most beautiful in the whole universe. That's me." Vanity fail?

Fiction Book Report:
Elf: "But Ms. Lanham, I cannot find the author" *Holds up Green Eggs and Ham*
Me: *Face palm* (really truly)

Create your own planet essay:
Elf: "On my planet, there will be no air pollution" *Pause to actually sneeze*
I guess that's a China air quality fail. And everyone got it because my other elves starting rolling on the carpet in giggles at the shear irony of it.

Elf: "How would you say the ground is kind of bumpy?"
Me: "I would say that the ground is kind of bumpy."

Also, while writing the fiction book report ... Two high schoolers started arm wrestling, literally in my classroom doorway. I've kept the door open since the weather has been so pleasant lately. I wasn't quite sure who to glare at first, so I said with GREAT emphasis, "Gen-tle-man!". Behind me I hear the singing chorus of all three of my Korean students in unison, "Mother, father gentleman!" Noooooo!!! Not sure it's it's made it to your part of the world yet, but that is the title of Psy's new song. You know, that guy that sings Gangnam Style? Not sure I can take anymore!!


Also, on a completely different note, I feel like I have transformed our school into a humane society. As if people didn't think we were crazy enough for taking Jett in, but at least he is one less puppy on the street. And really, we all just ADORE him. After parent-teacher conferences last week, I left after an exhausting 13 hour day to find a 3-week old kitten meowing like crazy outside the guard shack. She was either terribly starving, or crying for mom, or both. But after half an hour, we couldn't coax her out of the bushes.

Next morning, that kitten is still in the same spot! Still crying, only now her voice is absolutely hoarse. We tried again that morning, but she wouldn't come out of the bushes. When I heard a security guard got her out, I called Cup of Joe to have them deliver a container of milk (apparently Chef Bob, our cafeteria cook, only has noodles), and ran out to find the kitten during first recess. After asking the guards, they said they didn't know where the cat was. I came back with Shelley, and they finally admitted that they had her in the back. In the back room, they lifted a traffic cone, and there was the poor thing, all curled up underneath A TRAFFIC CONE. Seriously? So I scooped up the little one real quick. Wasn't about to leave her with the guards!

She stopped yowling once she was in my lap. And then I tried to get her to lick some milk ...
 

 

 

 And once we got her to Kate's science classroom, we were able to find a *clean* eye dropper and she just lapped it all up. Now she's a content little kitty:

I apologized to Cavon for making his school into a humane society. But he supported us when we took in Jett, and he was proud of us for taking in this little gal. He said he would do what he could to get the word out that we were trying to find a home for her ... Little did he know his wife was interested! Later that day Nida came to Kate's and the two of them took the kitty back to Nida's classroom. Apparently they passed Cavon on the way, and the look in his eyes was the *What have I gotten myself into?* She had a trial run at Cavon's over the weekend, and they have decided to keep her. They're even keeping the name Asoka (courtesy of Kate). And the best thing? We have a list of families who are willing to take in the next stray kittens that we find. Trying to get these little guys off the streets in a healthy way. I won't tell you what the guards were going to do to her. But then again, I don't think I have to.

 

e-ART-h Day

This year at school we combined Earth Day and Fine Arts Day, into one crazy, awesome, hectic e-ART-h Day.

Before Lunch:
1. The entire school took a field trip. Prek, 2nd, 4th, 8th, and 9th grades went to Jiu Feng Mountain. Other grades went to a local park, and the beach.
2. We started the day by cleaning up the trash, and in a culture that never uses a rubbish bin, that was a lot. Especially cigarettes. Since we didn't have 150 sets up gloves with fancy pokers for picking up trash, our kids used reusable chopsticks to pick up the trash.
3. In my group I had two prek students, two 8th graders, and one each of the rest. It was too perfect. I made a questionable decision to give the youngest students the chopsticks (which could very well have transformed into swords or any other imaginable weapons, but I was counting on their desire to clean) and I paired each young student with an older student who carried the trash bags. They were the perfect teams. The youngsters were OVEReager to pick up trash, and the older ones followed along, caring for them and making sure that the little ones didn't get to close to the water. Stress-free field trip! My job was practically done!

- The Irony -
I knew immediately that my decision to make the pairings worked when a prek student enthusiastically pounced on a small candy wrapper yelling, "TRASH!" and the helpful 8th grader held open the trash bag to accept the wrapper for the candy that he had JUST PUT IN HIS OWN MOUTH. Really?? I mean, REALLY???? When I said a culture that wasn't used to using the rubbish bins, I wasn't kidding. Not even on a wilderness clean up trip did the wrapper make it to the appropriate disposable container before landing on the ground as litter first!

4. After a quick snack break, the kiddos made art inspired by Andy Goldsworthy, an artist who uses only materials that he finds in nature to make temporary artwork, and photographs it. http://www.ucblueash.edu/artcomm/web/w2005_2006/maria_Goldsworthy/TEST/

From fairly simple (one of my students from last year) ...

 

To a little more thought ...

And still more precise ... This student worked patiently trying to find the right rocks not only to balance, but also to create the shape of a person.

 

 

 

To even more ambitious ... These students found two black trees lying down and decided to attempt an archway.

To breath taking ... This group of three collected fallen flower petals while collecting trash all morning, and took an hour to assemble this beautiful-ness.

On our way back down the mountain, we collected water and plant samples. Back at school, all the moms had prepared a vegetarian buffet, "from nature" ...

And my elves enjoyed a lovely picnic. May it be noted that we have Spokane-like weather. Spring will only last 2 weeks, so we take advantage of this weather while we can. Next week it will probably be too hot to function outside, and it will be back to 3 cold showers a day!

 

 

This is the part of the day when I regret to inform you that my camera battery died, which is a real shame. After lunch, the students observed water and plant samples from all three field trips sites from the morning through microscopes, and from there created their own artwork in groups of four, using recycled materials to depict the cell patterns. Too cool for school!

 

 

But the best part of e-ART-h Day perhaps didn't happen on e-ART-h Day. I brought my class set of pencils and erasers to the microscope room to share with students who forgot theirs from kinder-5th graders. Amidst the cleanup, I didn't remember to grab them and they got swept away with other materials. Come Monday morning, we had to scrounge to get enough pencils for everyone to complete their morning sentences. And only half the pencils had erasers. I looked up just in time to witness a silent exchange. Elf 1 had made a mistake, but didn't have an eraser. She mimed an exchange, and swapped pencils with Elf 2, who did have an eraser on her pencil. And both were able to continue working as if nothing had happened. I wasn't the only one observing. The entire class silently used this method to complete their sentences on the board in a timely manner. Just beautiful problem solving and team work. I love it!

Best Day EVER!!!!

Well, actually BEST WEEK EVER!!! But let's just start with this one day that was the best day in the best week, ever!

What could be better than taking a lunch break and playing some 5 on 5 soccer? Our middle and high school put together and temporary league and our teachers put together a team.

Problem 1: Our head of school is on the team and often has meetings in the early afternoon.
Problem 2: They want me to fill in, but the upper school lunch time is during my language arts period.

Between conferences and moving apartments, we've had to do a lot of covering for each others classes. Despite that, I still had two teachers offer to take my class for the 20 minute soccer game. And despite their best efforts, my kids ended up coming out to watching the game. The original intent was to have them clean up and their props and put away their costumes from the play they just performed, but our handy man with all the keys for the closets is also on the soccer team. My 2nd grader elves sat right along side the upper school fans, shouting team cheers, and performing their lines to "psych out the other team". Too cute!

At the end of the game I grabbed all my stuff, but I dropped my necklace. One elf picked it up and put it on. What I didn't realize was that the necklace had "special teaching powers". Back in the classroom, the elves knew it was time for a read aloud and all sat quietly on the carpet, just as I expect them too. All except the one with my necklace. She promptly sat in the teacher chair, picked up the book, read the title and started into the story. No one objected. In shock, I sat on the carpet quietly listening to her as she read and showed the pictures. Then part way through she paused and said, "Oh wait, Miss Lanham always asks questions." She asked some clarifying questions about the plot and then proceeded to finish the story to the applause of all.

Not a peep about
"My turn now!"
"Why did she get to read?"
"That's not fair!"

The necklace has magic teaching powers ... I just might have to use this again. I have wonderful students. Best Day EVER!!

And let's back track a little: The day before that fabulous day was the performance of the aforementioned play. They performed for the entire school (prek - 12th grade + parents). We think there was a bit of stage fright since their facial expression and voice intonation wasn't quite what we were hoping, but I'm still so proud. Out of the 8, five have been attending AIAN for less than a year. And one of those has only been learning English for one month.

Conversation of the week:
Lara: "What's that guy doing over there?"
Me: (without even looking up) "Peeing."
Lara: "He's standing on one leg and peering into the window of that van."
Me: (still without looking) "Yup, I'm still going with peeing."
Kate: *uncontrollable laughter* "TIC!!!!!!"

VPN occurances of the week:
There's been a lot of news articles about countries cyber hacking other countries. There's been a lot of finger pointing, and to my particular delight, "proven evidence" in the form of IP addresses that confirm who is doing the hacking. As if no one ever used an IP address that doesn't actually reflect their physical whereabouts *shifty eyes*

However, this week I was feeling nostalgic so I went to the WB website to watch some old Gilmore Girls episodes online. What do you know, I am blocked with just a simple line: "The WB can only be viewed in the United States." There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Of all the websites, the WB was the one to figure out that I'm not actually in the states. Now if the WB can figure out VPNs and IP addresses, I sure hope that governments can too.

Lara is also heading out for ShenZhen in southern China for a conference this weekend. Apparently the conference hosts plan on using twitter to help present various education tools and have advised everyone to have an account by this weekend. Most educators are coming from all different parts of Asia to this conference, not just China. We're wondering if the conference orangizers have anticipated the fact that twitter dosen't work in China ... I guess Lara is about to find out.

TIC ... but not.

First I would like to show you these new views from our new apartment. Finally I have discovered where the rest of Beilun is. Beilun used to be nothing but farm country. Everything out this view is "old" Beilun. It was built between 6-10 years ago (so I'm told by the people who have lived here that long). You can also see the islands, and if you look closely, the port. Everything behind our apartment (not pictured) has been built in the last 2 years (as witnessed by me). It's quite impressive what China can do in such a short amount of time ... Also, quite scary!

 

And then, you know .... the next day you look out the same window, and you're in the clouds! 

TIC ... but not.
Anyways, I had a couple of TIC moments Tuesday morning. But unfortunately, my sentiments at the time were GO AWAY CHINA. I was riding to school, and as mentioned above, pretty much everything on my way to school is under construction as it has been built or is being built in the last year or so. (Actually I watched my current apartment building being built last year from my old apartment window). That means a road wide enough for 5 cars going various directions is often reduced to one lane of zipping traffic because of cranes and dump trucks and such. As I pulled up to a light, I deliberately positioned my bike in a place where I wouldn't get rear-ended, when along comes some dingbat, honking up a storm on her E-bike, nearly running me over. I nearly turned and through my coffee at her (which is saying something as I place high value on my coffee). This was a classic TIC moment ... but not. It was Robbie, my silly librarian, always playing tricks on me. I busted out laughing when I realized it was just her.

Then after I arrived at school, I saw a nice stream line of liquid falling from the breezeway bridge. "AW HECK NO!" went through my mind, as we've had a lot of construction workers at school lately, and I was positive that one was taking a leak from the second floor. This is also a very TIC moment, happens all the time. I marched up the stairs to find an ayi draining a small hose. TIC ... but not. This breezeway is right next to the library, so when Robbie came out, I told her about my misassumptions. She just shook her head and said, "You need to chill out, you really should have gone somewhere for break! Relax!" She is so right.

Maybe it's just the end of my time here, maybe I've been here too long ... but so many Chinese mannerisms come off as rude to me that I just expected the worst on Tuesday morning. Which is really, really bad. I was doing some re-evaluating of my interactions with the Chinese, and how I keep assuming the worst .... as my POS bike that has literally been falling to pieces after the car accident suddenly gets a piece of the metal chain guard stuck in the chain. This happens every other day. I pull to the side, as a friendly Chinese pulls over too. In a fantastic Chinese accent he says, "Are you okay?" Fine thank you, I replied, and he went on his merry way. Now, though it is very uncommon for a Chinese person to stop to help a stranger, I was still touched, and I have to remember even if Chinese culture doesn't say it, the people here are still kind, they have loved ones, they have hearts. Even if I do feel like they're trying to run me over 98.4% of the time.

It's all in the neighborhood.

What is in a neighborhood? Well, get away from American suburbia and you will find a totally different lifestyle.


At first, when the eggs, the milk, and the fruits and vegetables - yes, a few fruits and vegetables did exist in my fridge before Lara came - went bad after 3 days, I was super frustrated. Of course on the one hand that means there aren't so many preservatives and other stuff in my food, but on the other hand I have to go to the store every 3 days, which I find to be very annoying and time consuming. It's just not the American way. Americans go to the store for real grocery shopping once every week or two.


But eating food without preservatives has more than one healthy benefit. It develops relationships. While living in Li Ren, I got to know my local fruit lady, water lady, electronics guy, coffee shop (of course), pet store, and noodle restaurant. Typically there is a one on every block for every neighborhood.


Relationships are SO important in China, and I think many other countries that don't have suburban sprawl. It is easy to be frustrated especially in China I think, because there is no courtesy, no sense of caring, especially on the streets. I think it's because there are SO many people, the Chinese are very cold towards anyone who is not an immediate friend. But take the time to get to know your local block, and you will have instant friendly faces to enjoy on the way to work. I imagine myself like Belle in Beauty and the Beast during the opening song, greeting each shop owner as I walk by.


I've been so busy lately that I haven't had the chance to do the extra trips around my neighborhood, and of course now that I have moved, I live in a new neighborhood. I was becoming quite frustrated with the rudeness of China, so I took a jaunt in my old neighborhood after I got hit by the car. The electronics guy took my computer to a friend and had it back in less than 24 hours. The owner of the pet store knows I can read and write better than I can speak Mandarin, so while I talked to one of his assistants, he sat next to me as a scribe and wrote down everything that was said, to make sure I understood. The fruit lady likes to follow me around the store and make sure that I pick unbruised fruit. And the water lady is a little grouchy, but she still knows me :) China is so much more welcoming when I am waved at and greeted. Instead of the typical staring, glaring, sometimes even backing away, or even the guards not permitting me into my new apartment complex because "no foreigners have ever lived here".


This is one thing that was not even on our school board's radar I think when they had us all moved. The sense of community that the foreign teachers have developed on that block around the school.Maybe if I were staying an extra year, I would make the extra effort on my new block to meet the new fruit lady, the new water guy, and the new coffee shop. But that is the evil of traveling. All good relationships must come to an end. It's already heartbreaking to say goodbye to the community, even adopted family that I have made here. It's like the long goodbye. I do not want to get to know the new ones, and I am not yet ready to say goodbye to the old ones. Stuck in limbo here in Beilun ...

To Stick Out .. Or Not to Stick Out

It's obvious that I stick out in China. Any foreigner does, really. And the daily reaction to us foreigners can definitely go to your head. Lara and I have perfected our princess waves as we ride our bikes with Jett, and the Chinese stop to stare in awe. It really does feel like you are a celebrity. People stop me in the grocery store and ask for my picture. I like to be friendly, but then that girl runs and grabs all her friends, and suddenly I'm taking ten individual pictures with people, followed by several versions of a group photo!

I'm still trying to figure what they end up doing with the photos. Is there some hashtag on Chinese Twitter for, @sawaforeignertoday!

Here is one example: We were hiking at a local park with our friends Lisa and Fan (on the right). We decided to take a picture with the statute that has been dubbed "Mulan's Father". We waited for our turn, and then posed with the statue At the last second, several more Chinese people excitedly ran into the photo. No idea who they are.

The following weekend we went to the beach, laid out our towels and just relaxed. A group of maybe 12 Chinese walked by and just stared. Two minutes later one finally had the courage to come back and ask for a photo. We nodded, and she signalled the whole group to come over.

 

Sometimes I have zero patience for it, like when I was on the field trip this last Friday. Those five Chinese people who individually put their arms around me and took turns flashing their peace signs at the camera definitely had a very stony-faced, red headed laowai in their photo. I mean, it's obvious I'm teaching when we all have our school uniforms on! And I'm not really sure the point of the photos. But for the most part, I invite them all over and smile for the camera. I figure that a more positive interaction with a foreigner is better than a grumpy one, right? Especially when I could be their only interaction with a foreigner, I want to give a good impression.

The one time I actually didn't stick out happened to be on my way home from school. I had my books and computer in the front basket, my soccer bag clipped on the back, my purse was over my shoulder, and I was carrying a culligan-like water dispenser on my handle bars. My bike was loaded! And I felt very talented that day as I got home without crashing. That was also the least I had ever been stared at in China. I guess the more things I am capable of piling on my bike, the more I blend in? I looked just like everyone else on the street for once.

But I guess that wasn't the only time I didn't stick out ...  As many of you know that I was hit by a car last week. Always have to be careful and watching out there! Now that Lara and I live a 20 minute walk from the school, we are having a lot more daily interaction with culture, and traffic. Even though I've been here a year and a half now, I've had a lot more "firsts" in China lately, since Lara and I are the only laowai who live in our complex. For better or for worse, hopefully a lot more new cultural experiences to come! Just today, a man in our building communicated using charades signals to Lara in the elevator that he was very excited to meet the second foreigner. Should be an interesting last few months!

Apartment Woes

Well Lara and I have finally moved. Our lease was up on our apartment so the school had us move to a new apartment complex. I understand that moving is a lot of work to make the new place livable, but this has been ridiculous.

Our first week back form Cambodia/Thailand we were shown the apartment, and we refused to move until it actually had appliances and furniture. A week later we came back to have a look and thank goodness we did.

1. We have our own water heaters that we needed translation, and despite the translation I still didn't have hot water in my shower for 3 days.
2. Both showers leak into the other compartments of our bathrooms. And if you accidentally use full water pressure in Lara's shower, the hose kinks up and the water shuts off.
3. The washer would finish the load and still be half full of water.
4. We asked for curtains, which conveniently fluttered with the draft as the CLOSED windows weren't sealed around the edges.
5. Still no microwave or toaster oven ... no ovens in these apartments for baking! :((((( That's a really sad face.
6. No fresh water dispenser. We've been filling up jugs at school and hauling them back on our bikes.

As we are only here for 4 more months, we aren't financially prepared to furnish a new apartment, as we're both going to be doing it again in 3 months! I know I complain a lot, but it was a difficult move mid school year.

Now that we have moved:
1. The school agreed to reimburse us for the bikes we had to buy, since they won't provide a school bus for us (we're a 20 minute walk away) there is no public bus, taxis are infrequent, and the driver they hired to take us didn't show up on the first day.
2. Our Foreign Affairs Officer had to call the security at our complex since they refused me entrance TWICE. I just wanted to know if I needed ID or something since they kept stopping me. Apparently the guards said no foreigners lived in the complex. Lara and I are the first. And even more apparently, they only care about redheaded laowai since Lara had no issues, only me.
3. After 2 weeks, I have finally been able to do laundry. The hose for draining was built to drain UP and out of the washer, which obviously defies gravity, so we switched it to flow DOWN and out.
4. I've caulked both the showers (thank you daddy for sending me some of that last year).
5. I finally have hot water in my shower, but you can't turn on ANY water in the apartment or I will get a frozen blast of water.
6. We finally got a toaster oven yesterday, and Lara baked scones this morning! But we still don't have a fresh water dispense. More stealing water from the school, yay!

Alrighty, so here is the video. Keep in mind, everything in China is made to look nice. But it's usually just a temporary fix. I do not exaggerate when I say that if Lara and I haven't fixed it, it's probably still broken, and we just haven't had the time.