Annie

One of the things that I love about an international community, and especially the one we have in Beilun, is how tight the foreigners are. We're a transient community, most people staying from 2 months to about 3 years. We automatically welcome new comers, and celebrate like crazy the good times we had when it's time to say goodbye.

This week I met Annie.

The basics:
Annie and her husband are about my parent's age. She was born in Korea, met her husband in Taiwan, and currently lives in Hong Kong. Because of this, she speaks 4 languages (Koeran, Cantonese, Mandarin, and now English).

Why she's here now:
Annie's husband has been commuting to Beilun from Hong Kong for FIVE years! He spends the work week here and goes home for the weekend. He has always stayed in a hotel. This week, they're actually considering getting a more permanent residence here, so for the first time they left the hotel and started to explore Beilun. To their surprise, they found this GREAT community that's been here the whole time, and they were welcomed with open arms. They've already joined different language classes, church groups, and spend the evenings with new friends at good ol' Joes. I love this community :)

After several chats, Annie finally confided in me the reason for the move. They lost their 18 year old son during a surgery about 7 months ago. They've spent a great deal of time in mourning. He was supposed to attend to Penn State this year. This is just heartbreaking to me. When it came time to try and find a new beginning and a new life without their son, they decided Beilun might be a good idea. Annie's husband advised that they should not mention their son to their new friends, in order for it to truly be a new life. But Annie feels, and I think rightfully so, that their son was a great part of their lives, and should still hold a place in their hearts, even in this completely new community who never knew her son.

I think that is one of the most common things I hear from people who have lost a loved one. They just want to be able to talk about them without getting a major pity parade from everyone.

How she learned English:
I asked her how she learned English, and it really had a great deal to do with their son. They enrolled their son in an international school when he was in 5th grade. Then he also went to school in the State's while Annie's husband completed his masters in Phoenix.

First Annie said she had received basic English classes as a girl in Korea. But just the basics. "She is a girl." And, "That is an apple." Well of course it is! Not exactly the necessary vocabulary when sitting at business dinners with her husband and Canadian customers. But she was too nervous to speak up and make mistakes. She listened, and slowly gathered basic vocabulary and grammar.

When her son started at the international schools (in this is really why I just LOVE this community) the wives all had a club to get together, since they were all lonely and all had very basic English. She described a massive game of charades just to have basic communication, but by taking the risks and practicing the language, they all improved.


Insights on details:
From Annie's time spent in the international communities and in Phoenix, she has come to the conclusion that Americans really pay attention to the details. As a society, we are quite independent and deal with many problems. In Asia, you usually specialize in dealing with one kind of problem. Because we're used to taking care of the details, when a complicated situation arises, we are prepared to deal with it.
Example 1: Start with your grocery list. America gave birth to suburbia, and idea that you actually have to plan ahead your meals, because the store is not the corner fresh food market on every block.
Example 2: When we travel, we plan things. She was shocked to learn that some people will plan even a whole year in advance! We do research on the hotels and what attractions we might find most interesting. We really plan our trips. She said all over the Asian world you just pay money and go on a tour, no planning at all.
Example 3: Banks in Asia ... you just bring your money, and the teller does everything for you. Sometimes I'm waiting an hour and a half while the teller does all of my paperwork for international transfers. Annie was shocked when she went to the bank in the States, and she had to have all of the paperwork prepared before she even spoke to a teller.
Example 4: Because she lived in Phoenix, she was really close to the Grand Canyon. She was really impressed with the National Park Rangers, that they were educated geologists, and put on great programs for the public. Apparently museums in Asia are just starting to catch on to the audio guide, but typically don't have people who walk you through and talk you through things.
Example 5: The different approaches to education goes without saying, but Annie was really impressed by a mock AIDS summit her son participated in for high school. The idea of analyzing all the players in a problem, their perspectives, their motives, and trying bring it all together into a diplomatic solution was mind boggling. She couldn't believe the learning style that her son was being taught, and in the same breathe, she couldn't believe that learning could be so interactive or interesting.

Anyways, I love how our conversation developed. I hope you enjoyed Annie's story. I thought her insights were worth sharing. I love this place. And I love meeting people.